i saw you today and said ‘hey’
but what i meant was:
‘holyhell, you’re beautiful. you look like sunshine trapped in mason jars and fireflies stuck in moonbeams. you have a smile that punches straight to the spinal cord, did you know that? i just spent the last five seconds rebooting my heart, training my lungs how to breathe again. exhale, inhale. it should be simple but you’ve snarled it all in a giant mess. i’m unwinding the ball of yarn into a straight jacket and you’re as unaffected as the sea. i’d say i’m a boat but i’m hardly as sturdy. i’m a feather. it’s almost funny how little a chance i have of staying afloat. i’m soaked and matted and sinking into the undertow. and you’re just churning on and on and on.’
i saw you today and said ‘i haven’t seen you in forever’
but what i meant was:
‘i’ve seen you, but it wasn’t with these eyes. you’ve been playing tag with my sanity, running from behind the corners of memories and diving into the dark pools of my insecurity. still waters run deep. hah. you’ve been on my most wanted list and i haven’t been able to pin you in a corner. you’ve slipped through the cracks and i’ve been chasing you with a moth-eaten butterfly net. if i could only catch you, waldo, i’d stick you in a box and get some peace of mind. but, no, you’re having too much fun tying me up in knots.’
i saw you today and said ‘yeah, we should hang out sometime’
but what i meant was:
‘let’s fall in love. let’s fall out of ordinary. i think we could be something magical. i don’t know if i believe in magic but i believe in you. that has to mean something, right? you smell like the ocean and dust, that can’t be right but i can’t think of another way to describe it. no one smells like you do. pheromones? something like that, but you’ve got me hook, line and sinker. you’re like diet coke on summer days and clam chowder in the winter. so right it hurts. so perfect nothing could ever top it. except ginger ale and mac and cheese. but i imagine you’re like that too.’
~ C ~
